Reader Question: How do you politely explain to an inquiring individual about why you dress modestly?

Chandra (MoMoMod): I’ve been asked this question since Kindergarten. My peers always seem to notice within the first month of school that I didn’t dress like they dressed (longer skirts, no pants). To be honest the question “Why do you always wear skirts?” got old by the time I entered 4^th grade, but there was no way to avoid the question. As I’ve gotten older my answers have developed from “Because my mom only buys me skirts” to “I enjoy wearing skirts”! Most people can deal with my answers, but when someone continues to press for information I generally break it down by using Biblical scriptures regarding modesty for my response. The standards of dress are a little different for each person, so it is up to you to tailor your response based on your own personal convictions.  Here are some non-Biblical responses to such a question:

1. I enjoy dressing modestly because I feel comfortable this way.
2. I wear higher necklines and longer hemlines because I don’t want to expose myself to others.
3. I try to be respectful to everyone around me, and I don’t think anyone would be interested in seeing my body.
4. I’ve found that I’m respected more when I dress this way. Don’t you want to be respected?

Nina (Alltumbledown):
I’m an Orthodox Jew, which means I adhere to traditional Jewish law and practice pretty strictly. I eat only at kosher food establishments, don’t work or use electricity from sundown on Friday until nightfall Saturday night, and dress modestly. Since Jewish practice can be traced to written rules and laws, explaining why I dress the way I do isn’t all that difficult. Standard conversation: “Hey, Nina, it’s 100 degrees out. Why are you wearing sleeves to your elbow? Isn’t it hot?” “Since I follow Jewish law strictly, I dress in a specific way. That includes the longer sleeves, even on a day like today. Thanks for asking!”

My suggestions for those for whom dressing modestly is a little less pat: Be honest. Tell people you dress in a specific way because you value modesty. It will be awkward that first time, but in a while they’ll get used to it and think it strange if you’re dressed any differently. I think that attempting to dress well while being modest is important, because it gives people something to focus on other than your lack of bare skin– if you are wearing a great cardigan, patterned blouse and a pencil skirt, I promise they won’t notice that your cleavage is missing from the picture.

Sheilla “Shey” (Modesty Is Pretty): Good question. A few times I’ve been asked why I dress modestly. My young students wonder about why I always wear skirts and my friends who knew me before I dressed modestly also have wondered why my style has changed. My answer to them is that dressing modestly is a way in which I can honor God. The way I dress is a reflection of who I am on the inside. As sons and daughters of Christ we need to be good representatives of our Lord Jesus Christ including in the way we dress. The Bible says that we should dress in modest apparel(1 Timothy 2:9-10). Why? Because the Lord knew that as humans we have a tendency to want to glorify ourselves, by showing off our bodies, wealth, etc. We should be careful in the message we send to people through the clothes we wear. I also think of it this way: Do I want a person to get to know me for me, my mind, intelligence, righteousness? Or do I want a person to be distracted by my legs, chest, body? What is the motive behind dressing the way I do? Do I want to be pleasing in God’s eyes?(This should be our answer). Or do I want to provoke lust in men? Whether we want to provoke lust or not, a man’s mind works in a different way than woman’s. AT the end it takes more courage to stand for what you believe than to follow the crowd and follow the trends that are set by the world.

What is your response to someone that asks why you dress modestly?

Do you have a question? Send all questions regarding modesty to chandra @ momomod dot com.