What defines a lady? Is it how she dresses herself? How she acts? Where she goes? How she styles her hair? How she conducts herself in public? Is it her habits? What she says? How she treats other people? While I think all of these are important, I’d like to just focus on a couple of these.

Watch your words!
I was in the staff lounge at work today and the news was on the TV. While I heated my food, I listened to the newscaster talk about the “important issues” of the day. She was discussing this new “Desperate Housewives” show that will be premiering sometime next month. Next, she started talking about this “reunion gone bad” on some televised talk show. I’ll be honest: I don’t watch these shows, so I really couldn’t tell you what they’re about. They showed a clip from this reunion where all of a sudden this lady jumped out of her seat and began screaming and swearing at another woman on the platform! She got right up in the ladies face and was yelling all sorts of profanities at her. “Beep! Beep!! BEEEEP!” It was absolutely incredible – I couldn’t believe my eyes. This lady was making herself look like a total fool in front of millions of viewers worldwide–and she was probably being paid millions to do it!

Now I ask you – money or no money – is that how a lady should act? No, and yet, many of us do this on a day to day basis. No, maybe we don’t yell profanities (or maybe some of you do), but I would think we all have our own “versions” or substitutes for these words. People know exactly what you’re thinking when you use these words. Would the Lord consider this to be “acceptable” speech? I leave that for you to decide.

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” ~ Psalm 19:14 (KJV)

Don’t be a loud mouth!
Have you ever yelled at someone, or gotten into a loud argument with someone in public? Is that showing forth the attitude of Christ? I think we would all agree that the answer is no. What about just “being loud” in general? I used to have a huge problem with this. I was SO loud when I was younger, but I’ve since calmed it down about 13.7 decibels. My parents were constantly on my case, “Heather… <insert “the look” here> shhh… you’re too loud.” Or there would be times I would yell across dozens of people to some of my friends, “Heather… that’s not lady-like… lower your voice.”  Ugh. But the truth of the matter is this: ladies – especially Christian ladies – aren’t supposed to be loud. The Bible says that harlots are loud women (Proverbs 7:10-12), and why would you want to emulate anything that they do? Ladies are supposed to have meek, gentle, and quiet spirits. That starts from the inside first… then shows forth on the outside and in our speech. What does your speech say about you?
 
I have met a few women in my life that by looking at them, they can play the part real well. They dress nice, they smile sweetly, they nod at appropriate times, and they even have proper posture while both standing and sitting… but as soon as they open their mouth they ruin it all. You don’t only need to watch WHAT you say, but HOW you say it – it makes a difference.

“A foolish woman is clamourous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” ~ Proverbs 9:13 (KJV)

Stop your flirting!
Oh, this one may stir up all sorts of trouble, but hear me out. I used to enjoy flirting with guys every chance I got. It was a confidence thing for me. I took flirting to a whole new level, and I was wrong for it. My cover for the way I acted was that I was just trying to make people “feel comfortable” around me; I wanted them to feel “accepted.”

The Bible calls a flirting tongue “flattery”; and God describes the woman who acts in such a way “strange” – and that’s not a good strange either. In fact, God’s Word describes the strange woman as being simple (lacking understanding), stubborn, loud, adulterous, like a narrow pit, a harlot, and subtle of heart. None of those things a good things; I would hope that no one reading this would want to have any of those things said about them.

Something that helped me was when I would watch girls flirt with my significant other; I’d want to let them know what was what. He wasn’t available anymore… he was “mine” (so to speak). I didn’t want other girls flirting with him or batting their eyes in his direction. Then I realized I had done the same thing to many, many girls–even girls I’ve never met before and even girls that that didn’t yet know these boys. What?

Here’s my point: Every man that was ever created by God is not yours to flirt with. God has designed it so that one man and one woman form a marriage. The one God created for you is yours. Everyone else “belongs” to someone else. So when you flirt with guys other than the man God intends for you to marry, you’re flirting with someone else’s husband. That’s heavy stuff, isn’t it? I don’t know who my future husband is yet, but whoever he is, I don’t want a bunch of silly women flirting with him! He’s not for them! God made him for me!

Don’t let yourself be the girl who flirts with every man who has to legs, muscles that flex, and still breathes. God has created someone just for you! Wait for him – store up all of your flirting and your kisses and hugs and shower them on him when God brings him your way in His perfect timing.

“For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.” ~ Proverbs 6:23-24 (KJV)

About the Guest Blogger:
Heather Vires is a songwriter and author of Grow Up! – a blog dedicated to edifying the believer and strengthening the standards of separation for Christians (ladies especially). Heather was homeschooled her entire life, attended one year of Bible college, and is now attending a local university in pursuit of her Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management. She works for the DoD (Army), and owns her own business as a private piano teacher. She is very involved in several ministries at her local church and enjoys spending as much time as she can with the Godly, Christian friends the Lord has brought into her life!