Modest Beauty: Meet Kendra

One of the nice things about blogging is the ability to converse and “network” with people who have similar interests as you. While Kendra and I haven’t officially met, we have mutual friends, and I have a feeling that we’d get along quite well “in real life”. Kendra blogs about natural hair here; I admire Kendra because she’s honest, straight forward, and you know exactly where she is coming from.

Modesty is dressing in Godly way that doesn’t draw attention to myself and in a way that emphasizes my femininity. I dress modestly because I believe it is pleasing to God which is of the utmost importance to me. I also dress modestly as a witness. I have been able to witness to others just because of the way I am dressed. (The infamous questions- why do you wear skirts all the time?) Dressing modestly allows me to wear my femininity like a rose. I always feel like a lady. Furthermore, I dress modestly out of respect for my husband.

Absolutely! I was raised a Baptist pastor’s daughter. In our church dressing modestly wasn’t taught. However, I was very uncomfortable with my body growing up, so I always felt the need to cover up. I would wear a lot of layers, jackets, cardigans, etc. Since I have been in the Apostolic church, my definition of modesty is completely different from my definition of covering up now. I have an understanding of why covering my body is pleasing to God in so many capacities. I attribute these changes to prayer, personal conviction, a greater self respect and my efforts to live a holy life.

I completely disagree! As I stated before, I have always been big on layering. I am top heavy so one of my trials was finding shirts that did not accentuate my chest. So I am a fan of turning shirts backwards. (Sometimes the backside is cuter than the front!) Instead of wearing button ups closed, I wear them open with a cute shirt underneath and top it off with a belt. I am also bottom heavy so I cannot wear pencil skirts or straight skirts very well. So to remedy this problem, I wear skirts that flow or have an a-line. The advantage of having lots of long skirts that flow, is that you can hike them up and turn them into a dress! Another issue is that I have super long legs which is pretty strange considering I am only five feet three. So, I am a fan of layering skirts with ruffles on the bottom with a loose straight skirt that isn’t quite long enough. For the most part I wear longer skirts because they elongate my body. The up side is that most people think I am way taller than I actually am.

Finally, I keep an outfit list in my phone. Whenever I wear an outfit that I love, I write it down and categorize it as a work outfit, casual outfit, or church outfit. So on those days that my closet looks hopeless, I go back to my list for a cute outfit that I know works!

I have been married for 3 years in June. I think modesty is very important in a marriage. I don’t want everyone to see what should be for my husbands eyes only. A pastor’s wife told us in a marriage clinic that no man should be able to tell your measurements because your clothes are too tight. I live by that. When I walk out the house I want to look classy, modest and feminine. I want my husband to feel proud of the woman on his arm. I also want him to know that I have enough respect for him to cover up my body. And this goes both ways. My husband dresses modestly as well. I don’t believe there should be a double standard in this area!

I have found that I have only gotten hit by another man maybe three times and it was extremely subtle. I know that the way I dress sends a signal that I am not on the market, and no you can’t see the goods!

My husband is not a big fan of animal print. In fact it drives him crazy lol. But I love animal print. So to compromise, I don’t over do it. I have a cheetah print scarf that gives me just enough to feel pretty and it just enough for him to like what I am wearing. He also doesn’t like pointed toe heels and I used to love them! Interestingly enough, in time I came to find that I don’t think they look great on me either, so that one works out.

Create your own definition of what is beautiful. We have so many sources to pull from, but at the end of the day you cannot allow another woman’s wardrobe to effect yours! Get creative, find out what makes you feel confident, pretty and modest. Don’t be afraid to step out of the box. Don’t be afraid to embrace multiple styles. I never put myself in a box. I am an eclectic dresser! You never know what you are going to get with my clothes, but that is my style. The most essential tip I can give is to dress for your body! We are all made unique and different. I had to find what works for me and you have to find what works for you.

I shop no more than bi-monthly. Before I go shopping I think about what I need versus what I want and I make a mental list. For clothing I shop at the thrift store most of the time.If I need staple items, or want something trendy, I shop at Ross, Marshall’s, and Burlington Coat Factory. Occasionally, I will shop at H&M and Forever 21 or other trendy stores. For shoes I shop wherever they are cute and reasonably priced. I do have a budget that my husband gives me and it varies. He is very reasonable when it comes to shopping because I never over do it and he thinks it is important to have good quality clothing.

I am a seasonal shopper. In the spring and summer I shop for fall and winter clothing because it is on sale. In the fall and winter I shop for spring and summer clothing. It’s genius, I know!

I refuse to wear clothing that is (1) trendy but doesn’t work for my body (2) sends an immodest message (3) is a direct replica of what the mannequin is wearing. Modest fashion is all about creativity!

If I am dressing for school, I like to go comfortable. This usually includes flowy garments, ruffles, cardigans, rope belts, sweaters, etc. With the weather warming up, I have been dressing more bohemian. If I am dressing for work, I like to wear colored skirts with a neutral blazer, cardigan, and/or a dressy shirt. My job requires business casual, but I love to make that my own with variations such as my red pleated skirt, goldenrod pencil skirt, etc.

1. My slinky long sleeve tops are a must. No matter what I pack, I throw in all of my neutral colors.
2. Shoes, shoes, shoes! I carry a separate bag for shoes. I always include heels, wedges and flats.
3. One purse that goes with everything. Right now it’s my Dooney and Bourke black quilted spicy satchel.

Click the button below to visit Kendra’s blog.