Letting myself be brutally honest with you all this morning.
Honesty is a sort of elixir. Its properties are a mystery, because it can do what no other medicine can for the mind and soul.
Heal. Reveal. Release.
God has been dealing with me about myself. At first, I pushed it off, not wanting to admit what I knew to be true, but He wouldn’t stop his gentle nudging. Then, over the weekend, two different women who I had never met before, on two separate days said to me, “as soon as you accept it, learn your lesson, you’ll move on.” Floored. Completely floored. God used two STRANGERS to speak to me. To me…to little ol’ me.
I’m scared, truth be told. But I know I’m moving into the next phase of my life where letting go is the only way to pass through this. There is a door open ahead and with everything I’m holding on to, I can NOT fit through. Why I insisted on carrying this baggage for all these months, I’ll never know. It’s almost like it was too hard to release myself from them. They became a part of me. My situation was a sad one, but I didn’t need to hold on to all of the hurt, anger and disappointment for so long. What did I miss out on these past months? I can’t bear to think.
Suddenly, the bible verse about the truth setting me “free” became completely clear to me. Once I realized admitted that I was holding on (to said feeling) for longer than necessary and I started to release myself from it — I felt liberated. I did. I admitted to the truth and as a direct result I was set free.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
“Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.” John 8:34
And here is a cross-reference verse which makes total sense for my particular situation. I offered myself to my feelings and became a slave to them. *shudder*
“Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey–whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?” — Romans 6:16
I spoke to an elder in my life and she wisely told me that for a while I was grieving. It was SO right on. All of the emotions I was experiencing after what happened fell right in line with the grieving process:
Denial or numbness
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance or resignation
I went through EACH of those stages these 5 months. I am now on my last stage of mourning that time in my life. I am now in the processes of being set free, letting go and getting my life back in together. It’s natural to grieve, so I’m not apologizing for that, but what I am seeing is that I let it go on for far too long before handing it over to the Master. I’m so, so sorry God. Here I am, once again, thank you for your unending grace and mercy.
So, I’d like to encourage someone today who may be in the grieving process, mourning the loss of something precious in their life, please, grieve, it’s natural, but don’t become consumed like I did. Allow God to move in and become your balm of Gillead. He is the true healer. He is the freedom giver. And knowing the truth will ABSOLUTELY set.you.free.
The other day I got to thinking about the items that have literally become invaluable to me during my frugal/sustainable journey. And there is one that I can say has become priceless: baking soda.
I decided to compile a small list to show how often and in how many recipes I use it. If baking soda is on sale AND I have a coupon, it’s like Christmas for me.
First: I use it to wash my face. Yes. Just a about a tsp in my hand with a tiny bit of water, because it becomes too liquid otherwise. Scrub it around then rinse.
Second: I use it for a mini micro-dermabrasion. 3 Tb of baking soda. 1 Tb water. Mix in a small bowl. Apply to face and let sit for 5 min. Rinse. Do every other week.
Third: My dishwasher detergent. Recipe is: HERE
Fourth: Toilet Bowl Cleaner. Recipe is: HERE
Fifth: With the winter months looming close, I know I’ll be using this during the flu season. Homemade Pedialyte. Recipe is: HERE
Sixth: Homemade Oxy-Clean! I’ve found that the soda settles to the bottom and I need to stir it with a spoon before each use, but other than that, it works like a charm. Recipe is: HERE
Seventh: Super cool and tasty things like canned bread! I am planning on making quite a few of these come winter for gifts.
Recipe is: HERE
Eighth: THE best buttermilk biscuits this side of heaven. Sweet and fluffy. *swoon*
Recipe is: HERE
Ninth: Brushing my teeth. Tsp of baking soda and about half tsp of fresh squeezed lemon. If you’re low on toothpaste, this WILL do the trick.
And lastly: It would be a crime if I didn’t share with you our all time favorite desert. Lemon Loaves.
Recipe is: HERE
So, the next time you’re cruising down the baking aisle and you see the baking soda on sale, grab one and then another, for good measure. It’s gold in this house and hopefully it becomes just a valuable to you and yours 
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But it sure might kill me!!
See, I have this issue with control. I like to be in control. Not out of control, control…just, regular in control. Messes like glue, construction paper and play dough make me nervous (I sound like I have issues. hah…but hold on, I’m going somewhere with this). My kids know that if they want to do something super artsy and creative they do that with papa. He’s not afraid to get wild and silly, let his wig down and make messy memories.
All I can see is the mess.
Helping me squeeze lemons for part of a recipe
I can’t wrap my head around the fact that sometimes making memories IS messy and that’s ok. Letting my children do the dishes, splash water all over, sweep the floor, creating a bigger disaster, fold the clothes, stuff their dressers incorrectly, help me cook and get flour all over the place — all of this is normal. It’s a part of life, love and curiosity. It’s how.they.learn.
It’s so hard for me to not look at their every move as a 2 hour clean-up session for myself (selfish). So, I try and quash that unrealistic part of myself. I’ve had many a cooking experience with my little boy — I’ve even let him *sew* with me. I threaded a needle, handed him a few buttons, a scrap of fabric and let him sit next to me while my machine pumped out one outfit or another for him or Roma. It was therapeutic for me. Allowing myself the chance to enjoy him in his curiosity. Enjoy him while he’s in the very moment of learning! It’s so beautiful.
My son assembling our strainer all by himself. He followed the instructions so he could make grape juice.
Curiosity is a beautiful thing. Letting go of that *controlling* part of me is liberating. Being a kid with my kids is one of the most gratifying feelings as a parent…
*breathe in, breathe out*
I can do this. Yes. I can.
I’m slowly letting go of my super serious side and randomly wearing paper mustaches in public with my three year old. That’s normal, right??
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If there is one thing I’m not, it’s a Super Mom. And I resent when people make comments implying that I have it all together and carry on like they do not…or something backward like that.
I have had people compliment me and really mean it — sincerity, I appreciate. Don’t get me wrong, I need a little ego boost (not Eggo, although sometimes I crave those. hah) every now and then.
Each mom has their own way of being super to their respective families. If you can keep a decently clean home and cook a basic meal for your family you’re super! (at least in my book) There is the pressure to have a spotless home, cook fantastic meals, be an amazing seamstress, be close to psychotic with your organizational skills, be able to decorate your home, dress like half a million bucks, have your children in several sports, go on fantastic cruises with the family, have a perfect complexion and be a size 4.
Fail.Fail.Fail. Half the things I listed I do not, can not, and don’t have the money to do! Currently, I have toys all over the floor along with a bit of sand, I haven’t been very motivated to spend a lot of time cooking, I’m slowly getting my house organized but have such a long way to go, my house is NOT decorated because I don’t know how, my clothes *meh*, no cruises here and my skin is trying desperately to recover from a bout of stress induced acne (which I’ve suffered from for the past year).
I’m just wondering where all this pressure comes from. The social media is so cruel, I mentioned it in THIS post a while ago. We see the magazines while we stand in line at the grocery store and subconsciously our hand finds its way to our hair, our waistline, our face and our clothing…checking to see if we’re as put together as what’s-her-head-super-star. *sigh* Cruel.
I saw something on FB a while back and it made my blood boil.
It said, “I see all these moms who can do everything and I think, I should have them do some stuff for me.” Seriously?? Have you EVER, truly found someone who can do everything? NO. But have you found someone who knows how to get things done for *their* family and admired them? I have. I think it’s very rude to put down moms who have worked hard to find the rhythm of their home and are making things work for their family.
It seems to me that such statements pit mothers against each other when we should be working FOR and with each other. Mom jealousy. I have it, but not in the bad way. There is a mom I know who lives on a farm, is a fabulous seamstress and dresses like she lives in the upper East side but most if not all of her clothing she sewed/designed or bought on the cheap and made it look like she spent a fortune. There is another mom who juggles more children than my womb is willing to bare and keeps a fabulously clean home. I’m super jealous of a mother friend of mine who is a very talented decorator. And yet another mother who is the queen of thrifting and garage sale-ing.
I want to be like those moms, so, I make adjustments here and there and do what I can do. That’s all. Keeping up with the Jones-es is not my style, making myself into a better me, totally is.
So, you, mama, who thinks you aren’t super — you ARE! And down with stupid sayings like that who make the moms who are trying their very best out to be a bad thing.
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