Cholos, drunkards, teachers and preachers. When it comes to speeding tickets the law sees no social classification. I was the recipient of a speeding ticket over a month ago and it made me sick to my stomach. I always try to drive the speed limit and I am known to drive 65 mph on the freeway. However, on the morning of June 18th, 2010 I was in a rush to get home in order to start packing for my month long getaway and was clocked going 45 in a 35 mph zone. FAIL.
I tried the whole, “Why me, God?” and “If I just would have taken a different route”. While I was sitting in court today I was reminded that “all have sinned” and in the judge’s eyes I was in violation of the vehicular code just like the homeboy next to me that was driving without a license and speeding and the girl that had no insurance and presented false identification. In other words, no one is righteous and can violate the law at some point during their lifetime.
Let’s move on to the dress code. From raggedy ripped jeans to leggings and see through blouses—this court house had it all. The judge had very minimal rules, with the biggest rule being tucked in shirts for men. Is it just me, or do men look so much better when they are groomed? Men in skinny jeans, cropped capris, and flimsy attire is something I just cannot get on board with!
The worst clothing offenders of all were the ladies women. Bellies were shown, lower back tattoos could be seen, and breasts were visible. It’s amusing at times because people consider me to bound to religious rules in regards to modest apparel and scoff at the idea of being “told” what to do. No one tells me what to wear, but I also think that choosing to dress modestly also means that I tend to show respect for myself and in return others respect me.
My observations:
*Men held the door open for me
*A man stood up and waited as I tried to sit down
*A man apologized for his cursing
I did not ask these people to do this. The most amusing thing of all is the man that was cursing was in the presence of a woman companion, but did not apologize to her for his language. He apologized to ME!
What did I wear?
Vintage dress circa 1970s found on the $5 dollar rack at a consignment store
Vintage belt worn to define waist
Thrifted patent leather shoes from Goodwill
Arcadia purse gift from boyfriend
Let’s discuss: Have any of you had people of the opposite sex treat you differently because of the way you were dressed?
16 Comments
I actually had an employer who required all females to wear either a dress or skirt - NO SLACKS EVER!!
Her reason behind this dress code, If we dressed like we were the boss, customers would not ask to speak to the boss. It worked, customers would come to me to complain about the 2 male owners , who dressed in jeans and polo shirts.
Connie, that’s so funny! I know so many people that feel like dress codes are unnecessary, but after today’s court visit I find them to be VERY vital in most situations—especially places of employment!
Yes I have had girls/women treat me differently based on how I dress.
cute outfit! In high school I worked as a hostess in a restaurant and one day I wore a very pink outfit (skirt, top, scarf) and noticed that the male patrons were much more courteous!
Great dress, it’s so classy
L x
Half Dressed
Chandra you look so beautiful! That dress is gorgeous! I had written a whole big comment and it didn’t go through! Now I will have to type it again!
On the discussion, I’ve lived on both sides, inmodest and modest, and let me tell you whenever I visited Mexico men would blurt out lustful comments at me, I would hate that so much, but it’s somthing Mexican men do, but when I started dressing modestly I went again for vacation and instead of ugly lustful comments they would still blurt out things but it would be nicer things, like “look, that girl is so pretty.”
I find that men react more positive to a girl dressing modestly, but the girls on the other hand can be meanies, not all, but some look you up and down, and I’ve had some sneer at the way I dress. There’s also those men who could care less and still are lustful regardless of how you dress, but most often they are very nice.
I love your patent pumps and red bag. It’s crazy the way some people think is acceptable to present themselves.
Dress like you want to be treated well, and you will be.
What a well-written post!! I worked at several different courthouses, so it was interesting to read this!
Yes, I definitely believe that we are treated (especailly us girls) differently based on how we dress.
Best wishes from one blogger to another,
~Zabrinah
I’m 100% positive that how you dress affects how you are treated by strangers.
And by the way, going to traffic court never looked so fashionable! LOL!
Courthouses are the most depressing places to be in…I saw all of that and a lot more when I had to serve on a jury. AY YI YI!!!
I’m not a modest dresser (a lot more modest than I used to be though…HA!), but the response from men is MARKEDLY different depending on what you’re wearing.
That dress is beautiful. =D
Chandra,
I really, really enjoyed this post. You look so classy and I love your dress! Men have also treated me with more respect because of my modest dressing. Dressing modestly is something I enjoy and it definitely makes a good impression on others.
@Shey, thanks! I’m wondering why your comments keep messing up?? That must be aggravating! I totally agree: whether you dress modestly or not, there are some people of the opposite sex that will devote their attention to you regardless!
@Zabrinah Thanks for the comment! I’m reading your blog now!
@Alicia, the traffic ticket was depressing enough, but then the clothing…Oh, Lawd! VERY depressing!
@Nikia, LOL I guess I did look a little bit overdressed for traffic court!
@Chanel, I’m glad you enjoyed the post. After 25 years of trying my best to dress modestly, I’ve found that people respect you. Of course, it’s always good to have great attitude, because modest dressing is only 50% of the equation!
Thanks for the support, everyone!
I’ve been dressing modestly for some years now but it’s been a progression for me. I am at a point now that I also wear my head covered which has attracted even more of a reaction than dressing modestly.
Many of my Christian female friends have asked for more insight on what the bible says about it and have said that they’ve been considering it as well but haven’t gone through with it.
In regards to men, I find that when I only dressed modestly, I received a lot of the same reaction from men that you did. They were more polite and courteous in my presence as though my attire demanded a higher character standard from them.
Now that I wear my head covered, I have attracted more inquisitive glances and even questions which I gladly answer. I love to be able to point both believers and non believers to Gods word concerning women and head covering. (I Cor. 11: 2-16) While I only see that it is biblical required while praying and prophesying I see why many middle eastern women wear it most of the time.
I’ll just tell this story and then I’m done:
A friend dropped by unannounced and the a few weeks ago and since she was female I opened the door with out covering my hair. She had not seen my hair fully styled and uncovered for almost a year. You should have seen her reaction. It was priceless. Her face lit up and she said “Oh my word Saidah, I didn’t realize how beautiful you were without your head covered.”. At first it was weird and I didn’t know if that was a compliment or an insult.
By the look on her face I knew that head covering was a benefit to women. It masks a portion of your beauty, one that I believe can also be reserved and special for your current or future spouse. Imagine the day that you all marry he finally see you without your head covering and your beautiful hair is his to enjoy.
I think it would be amazing—Just my humble opinion.
Wow. I’d love to hear Saidah’s story on head coverings. I heard my friend’s transition to head coverings, but she is a Muslim.
First off, I LOVE what you wore that day, Chandra! That’s something I would wear!! It looks adorable. I thought I had commented on this post right when you sent this to me because I definitely have read this post
As far as respect… yes, definitely! I didn’t become less attractive by dressing modestly plus I also gained more respect. What more do we women want? Sexual attention? That’s just sinful. We women love to be admired because that’s how God created us, and we should desire that in its purest form.
Thanks for the “Head Covering” post request Rachel. It’s already in the works. God is giving me so much he wants me to share it’s just been a task trying to get it all typed and posted. I just did the marriage series which was really a labor of love. I hope you were able to get some inspiring information from that. And Chandra, thanks again for such a great post.
Love this dress, you look great! I love the whole concept of your blog, you are pleasing God in your manner of dress and doing it with style.
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